I’ve always wanted to write something meaningful – as meaningful to others as it is to me when I catch a glimpse of truth. However, I’m limited. Inspiration comes and goes, my certainty wanes and my tears dry. I would like to find normalcy through these words; however, by the standards of the world I’m a freak. A red letter adorns my breast like few others. In spite of that, I know we all share the human experience and like a beloved mentor once told me – everyone has a story.
I’ve always wanted to write a blog. It’s like writing a secret diary that which you hope someone special steals a glimpse. Ironically, I’ve never really written unless to dispatch some obligation – to a teacher, to a friend, to my family, even to my career, but never to myself. By now you are probably wondering – who is this person and why should I give a damn? It would be arrogant to profess that I know the answer to either; however, I’m selfish enough to hope that you are a better person than I and will read on.
In many ways I feel that I’m a hopeless contradiction. The right path is wrong, up is down and strength is weakness for me; however, I feel compelled to masquerade as the mundane with very little success. I have bulled my way through life because really experiencing it would have been too awkward or too hurtful. Astonishingly, as different as we are, I know we are very much alike.
There was a time when I had hoped to create some technical masterpiece that would mesmerize those who share my waning interest of the arcane. However, I now feel those interests are nothing more than the remnants of life’s geis. I have lived my life as an engineer who seeks to optimize the possible but yet understanding that we must learn to appreciate flawed goals or outcomes. My trek is to the edge of a precipice that borders the awaiting bosom of oblivion or the embrace of the divine – I know not which. Regardless, I still have some ways to go before I rest; however, each step, each sojourn along the way is what we can share with each other.
Know that in subsequent entries I will serve up my soul in measured doses. I suspect that often this will be in the form of scribing my thoughts of movies, television programs or books, but be warned – when vannity overcomes or courage inspires I may write about myself in a manner that would probably make even Hester Prynne cringe. If you have read this far, let me apologize for my ham-fisted attempt at prose. Still, I hope we can find inspiration in each other.
